life in general

i recently had the (what turned out to be) privilege of dog-sitting Shelby, an beautiful 8 year old pup. I think she's a mix of lab and rottweiler, although i don't know for sure. she was one of the sweetest dogs i've ever met - should her owners decide they can no longer keep her (of which there's a decent possibility) i may adopt her. i've been hesitant to get a dog in the past, but if there were ever a dog i'd adopt at this point in my life, it'd be Shelby. and as much as i really enjoy living by myself (well... me and my cat, anyhow), she is a great companion and i wouldn't mind having her around at all.

on a completely different note, there's been a recent... development... in my family within the past month. and by development, i mean life-forever-altering, harsh-reality-inducing, development. there are serious negatives, but with that come a few postives - there's a huge element of mixed blessings in it. however, it brought back to life some buried (albeit, not too deeply) feelings in me of envy, sadness, lonliness, and perhaps even a hint of bitterness. i hate that even in someone else's struggle, i focus on what i don't have. this realization makes me sad; i am able to let go of the envy and bitterness, but the sadness and longing still linger a little. i will press on, as always, but i'm still left wondering.