Top Ten things I love about my job
(and please note... these are things i love about my job, not the top ten reasons that i love my job... right)
1. job security. there will always be an abundance of stupid people. and criminals. every once in a while, i feel like i actually HELP someone. a true victim... not someone put into their situation as the consequences of their own bad, horrible decisions.
2. making funny comments to my co-workers after hanging up the phone. "guess what this person said they had wrong with them?? A FANNY RASH!" seriously... people want ambulances for the funniest things!
3. great quotes. for example, "the ambulance doesn't treat emotional injuries." or, when searching for the elusive word "anonymous", coming up with "unanimous", or "i want to remain a... a... a mystery!" descriptions of people: "black, skinny, & looks like a troll doll", or "tall, toothless, googly eyes;" "bald on top with long hair on the sides, like Ben Franklin." or even, "no front teeth, just the vampire teeth on the sides." yes, these are actual things that actual people have said. on a recorded line. :)
4. getting the inside scoop. i am nosy!! enough said :)
5. being a go-to person for all my friends' questions. want to register your new handgun? i can tell you where to go. need a CCW permit for that? i'll point you in the right direction. need a PPO? call the courthouse. not sure who handles a certain police/fire jurisdiction? i can tell you, and also rattle off the phone number by memory. want to know if you have a warrant?? ha ha.. i can't tell you that! nice try though! :)
6. telling people the brutal truth, straight out, no hedging. "Just because YOU think the police should come does not make mean that the police will actually come help you. and making threats that 'someone's gonna end up hurt' does not change our minds." "no, i will not give you permission to drive intoxicated just because you called to check the legal limit." no, i do not promise we won't ticket your vehicle if you're just leaving it there for an hour. in fact, now that you told me where a vehicle is illegally parked, i'll send someone out to look for it & ticket you." "no, we will not sit at your house & watch it all night because your drunk neighbor tried to get into the wrong house by accident. HE'S DRUNK!" if you want someone to do surveillance, hire a private investigator. if you need a ride, call a taxi. if you want to know the time, check a clock. if you want to know when you're electricity will be restored, call the ELECTRIC company. thank you.
7. becoming fluent in another language... drunk. i still have some trouble sometimes if the drunk person has a foreign accent... that can get tricky.
8. great explanations. mostly - people trying to make up stories of how there car was "stolen" when in reality they just traded it for crack. again. or how they got "robbed" when the person they gave their money to didn't give them any ______ (insert any/several of the following - weed/sex/guns/crack/purebred pit bull/candy/etc.) in exchange.
9. geography knowledge. if they ever make up a game about grand rapids geography, i will NOT play against most of my co-workers. i will, however, play against you. and likely win. :)
10. realizing that i really have things pretty good. there are lots of people in this very city who are going through terrible things. i may complain about my life from time to time (*ahem*) but i'm doing LOADS better than a lot of other people. amen.
1. job security. there will always be an abundance of stupid people. and criminals. every once in a while, i feel like i actually HELP someone. a true victim... not someone put into their situation as the consequences of their own bad, horrible decisions.
2. making funny comments to my co-workers after hanging up the phone. "guess what this person said they had wrong with them?? A FANNY RASH!" seriously... people want ambulances for the funniest things!
3. great quotes. for example, "the ambulance doesn't treat emotional injuries." or, when searching for the elusive word "anonymous", coming up with "unanimous", or "i want to remain a... a... a mystery!" descriptions of people: "black, skinny, & looks like a troll doll", or "tall, toothless, googly eyes;" "bald on top with long hair on the sides, like Ben Franklin." or even, "no front teeth, just the vampire teeth on the sides." yes, these are actual things that actual people have said. on a recorded line. :)
4. getting the inside scoop. i am nosy!! enough said :)
5. being a go-to person for all my friends' questions. want to register your new handgun? i can tell you where to go. need a CCW permit for that? i'll point you in the right direction. need a PPO? call the courthouse. not sure who handles a certain police/fire jurisdiction? i can tell you, and also rattle off the phone number by memory. want to know if you have a warrant?? ha ha.. i can't tell you that! nice try though! :)
6. telling people the brutal truth, straight out, no hedging. "Just because YOU think the police should come does not make mean that the police will actually come help you. and making threats that 'someone's gonna end up hurt' does not change our minds." "no, i will not give you permission to drive intoxicated just because you called to check the legal limit." no, i do not promise we won't ticket your vehicle if you're just leaving it there for an hour. in fact, now that you told me where a vehicle is illegally parked, i'll send someone out to look for it & ticket you." "no, we will not sit at your house & watch it all night because your drunk neighbor tried to get into the wrong house by accident. HE'S DRUNK!" if you want someone to do surveillance, hire a private investigator. if you need a ride, call a taxi. if you want to know the time, check a clock. if you want to know when you're electricity will be restored, call the ELECTRIC company. thank you.
7. becoming fluent in another language... drunk. i still have some trouble sometimes if the drunk person has a foreign accent... that can get tricky.
8. great explanations. mostly - people trying to make up stories of how there car was "stolen" when in reality they just traded it for crack. again. or how they got "robbed" when the person they gave their money to didn't give them any ______ (insert any/several of the following - weed/sex/guns/crack/purebred pit bull/candy/etc.) in exchange.
9. geography knowledge. if they ever make up a game about grand rapids geography, i will NOT play against most of my co-workers. i will, however, play against you. and likely win. :)
10. realizing that i really have things pretty good. there are lots of people in this very city who are going through terrible things. i may complain about my life from time to time (*ahem*) but i'm doing LOADS better than a lot of other people. amen.
posted by beth at
5:15 AM
1 Comments
