Hope

she's only the cutest, happiest baby that i've ever met.
i'm so glad she's my niece!!

the big 3-0

i turned 30 over a month ago. i was really, really dreading it. i'd had some personal life-goals that i'd wanted to hit before 30. i did not meet a couple of the big ones - for instance, i always felt that i'd be married, as well as have started having children by this time. at this point, i have no idea if it even will happen (i really hope so, though).

Then, about 3 weeks before i turned 30, i injured my leg playing softball. i got stuck on crutches for about 2 weeks, and am (now) almost back to normal. thankfully, i was off crutches by my birthday. additionally - 1 week before my birthday (just as i was getting off crutches), i wound up with a terrible abscessed tooth. i had had 5 dental-type appointments within 1 week (culminating in a root canal that occurred the day before my birthday). it was horrible (the week - not the root canal). my face got all swollen with the infection, as it spread to my jaw muscles before i got to the dentist. it took about 5 days for me to recuperate. Sufficient to say: by the time i turned 30, i had just turned the corner on my maladies and was finally feeling normal again, and was glad to have been distracted. :)

there are definitely times that i look back and see so much provision for my life. i have experienced SO much and been able to do SO many things in the past 7-8 years that i would never have experienced had i not been on this particular journey. i have some of the best friendships of my life right now and i am able to just sit back and revel in them, not worrying about trying to fit them in or maintain them through little communication.

by living independently in a house that i bought, for awhile with a roommate that paid me rent, i have been able to pay off all of my debt (read: college loans) and am working towards paying down my house.

God definitely has a plan for my life and i am just doing my best to live that out. he has blessed me abundantly and i wouldn't change that for the world... despite reaching 30 before i should have!

life in general

i recently had the (what turned out to be) privilege of dog-sitting Shelby, an beautiful 8 year old pup. I think she's a mix of lab and rottweiler, although i don't know for sure. she was one of the sweetest dogs i've ever met - should her owners decide they can no longer keep her (of which there's a decent possibility) i may adopt her. i've been hesitant to get a dog in the past, but if there were ever a dog i'd adopt at this point in my life, it'd be Shelby. and as much as i really enjoy living by myself (well... me and my cat, anyhow), she is a great companion and i wouldn't mind having her around at all.

on a completely different note, there's been a recent... development... in my family within the past month. and by development, i mean life-forever-altering, harsh-reality-inducing, development. there are serious negatives, but with that come a few postives - there's a huge element of mixed blessings in it. however, it brought back to life some buried (albeit, not too deeply) feelings in me of envy, sadness, lonliness, and perhaps even a hint of bitterness. i hate that even in someone else's struggle, i focus on what i don't have. this realization makes me sad; i am able to let go of the envy and bitterness, but the sadness and longing still linger a little. i will press on, as always, but i'm still left wondering.